How playing Solitaire helps me...

The title is crazy right? I mean initially, you're thinking, "What is Patrice talking about?" Seriously, playing Solitaire has been game changer for me recently. Yes I could have jumped on the Candy Crush train, but when I started to look for a game to play when I need to relax my brain, I took it back to the basics. Here's what I took from my old-new found love of the game:

"Out with the old, in with the new" is not always true-- There a millions of games and apps that you can play, but sometimes the older games can be just as exciting. In this fast-paced world, where the "next big thing" looms above our heads daily, sometimes it is nice to go retro and embrace the "old".

You cannot control the hand you're dealt-- no point in dwelling on the hand you have been dealt, because you cannot control it. Play the game and when it doesn't pan out the way you wanted it to, start a new game! 

Stick with your "thing"-- I have little nuances and traditions when I play Solitaire. For the first 6 deck shuffles, I rotate between moving cards on the floor, and in the deck. Sometimes it is tempting to forgo your tradition and "way" of doing things, but stand your ground- even with yourself. If you have found something that has worked for you and makes YOU effective, stick to it no matter what- you will thank yourself later. 

Pay attention-- I cannot tell you how many times I was moving so fast that I missed combinations that could have been made "shuffles" ago. Sometimes we move so fast that we miss the perfect move below. Once you miss that move, it can throw off your entire game. I "punish" myself when I do this- if I miss a move and have to use the "hint" feature, I start a new game. Most times in life, there is no "do-over". Making myself start another game serves as a reminder to stop making this silly mistake and SLOW DOWN. 

You will win some, and lose some-- accept the losses and rejoice in the wins. It is that simple! 

THE POWER OF MUSIC

THE POWER

        Sometimes I forget how powerful music is, considering that most of my life, I have done it as a job. Rarely do I get the experience of just sitting back and being in the audience and “feeling it”.  I have been riding the Metro to work lately and have been listening to music--not to learn it for a gig, or study and practice trills…just to….listen…and it is AMAH-ZING. I created a new playlist called “Inspiration” and by far my favorite songs on the playlist are “No One Else” by Smokie Norful and “Go Alone” by PJ Morton (…yes, Bishop Paul S. Morton’s son).

NO ONE ELSE

       I enjoy Smokie’s song as it gives me motivation to give God glory in all that I do, but Smokie and the live band outdo themselves on the music composition. The lines they play to get to the call and response part blow my mind and I call it, the “ride”. Even though I am walking from the train, I am riding on the music. Listen to the whole song, but REALLY listen to the lines played starting at 5:25….POWERFUL….

LISTEN: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQUwav4WL_c

GO ALONE

     PJ Morton’s whole EP “New Orleans” is great, but the lyrics to"Go Alone" speak volumes to me, as it exposes some of my fears and insecurities in just…being me...and living MY life...the lyrics SPEAK to me….I hope they do the same for you:

I want the world to sing along
But I’m not sure I can afford the costs
Without getting lost
I know that there’s an easy way
But I’m not sure that I’m willing to play
I’m not so good at this game
‘Cause I can’t be…

Going through the motions
As a ship sets on the oceans
Passing you all by
You’re standing on side
A spectator of your old life
Don’t you think it’s time
You take a ride

(Chorus)
Why do you go on
Why do you go on
You should go for what you wanted all along
Why do you go on
Why do you go on
You try to feel it even when it felt so wrong
Instead of just going alone
Why don’t you go alone

ENJOY THE WHOLE SONG:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFecQwUe_oY

                                                           

Top 6 DUMB things that happen to me…often….

I chose six things, because six is my favorite number….

And because that’s all I had…

#6: Shoes being untied

I have always felt that when you reach a certain age (over 18 years old), you look like an idiot being fully dressed, out and about, and you’re squatting down to tie your shoes. I always feel like people are looking at you thinking, “You didn’t tie your shoes the right way when you left the house you ADULT?”  It burns me up when this happens to me because you know what- I DIDN’T tie them right before I left the house…

#5: One spoon left in the dishwater after you have dumped the water out

One question: Am I really going to fill the dishwater pail up again and wash this one spoon?

 I will let you answer for yourself, but technically it WAS soaking the whole time….

#4: Sneezing while driving…and only one piece of tissue

I KEEPS* my McDonald’s napkins! I have a full stash in my glove compartment. But I am convinced that the Government KNOWS that I am going to sneeze two weeks later, so they send FBI agents to come and steal my tissue in the darkness of night, leaving a single piece. Am I the only one that prefers more than one piece of tissue at the scene of a sneeze? I think not.

*To say “keeps” vs. “keep” emphasizes how serious I am…i.e., "I keep it real!" vs, "I keeps it real!” (See what I did there?)

#3: Locking yourself out of your car or house

Doesn’t your body temperature change in that last second as the front door and car door slam shut, and your brain reminds you that your keys are still on the kitchen counter, in your other purse (ladies), or still in the ignition? Do you want to slap yourself even more when this happens to be the day you REALLY needed to reach your destination ON TIME? Blasphemy.

#2: Stubbing that toe

I believe there is an evil spirit out to break my left pinky toe off of my body. To have stubbed my toe so many times in this lifetime, it should really be against the law. To all the kitchen counter corners, coffee table legs, and occasional kid high chairs…I rebuke you!

#1: Dropping your cell phone face down…and the cap of the juice

There’s an octave that I can ONLY reach when this happens. It seems like it is in slow motion, but it happens so fast. And somehow, I manage to get a prayer in, asking God for forgiveness of my sins and reminding him about the fee I will have to pay if my phone is broken, or how I haven’t swept the floor so a piece of hair might get into the cap of the juice.  I love my phone…can’t breathe when it is gone…but I must say, the cap of the juice would be saved first if I could only save one…

Feel free to add your own!

Boss yourself around!

WOULD YOU PROMOTE YOURSELF? 

    I have been struggling in one area of my life and I have been trying to figure out how to work past it. This "area" is directly correlated to long-term goals I have and I know I won't do well in the long-term goals, if I don't accomplish the short-term one first. With that said, something came to me today- I need to treat myself as an employee and boss at the same time. Ask yourself, "Would I pay someone like me to run my business?" Be honest, we all have some areas of improvement! 

    In order to be "promoted" within your company, you have to prove you're worthy by having a strong work ethic and level of commitment...just because you have good intentions or because you're cute, doesn't get you the promotion. Many of us have GREAT intentions, ideas, and COULD actually promote ourselves or company to the next level; but without a strong work ethic and commitment, it will never stick. I want a lot of things in my life, but most of those things deal with having a business-minded attitude. So from now on, I "promote" myself to the next level, by evaluating the level of commitment I provide to my current position.


WANNA GIVE "YOU" A PROMOTION? DO THIS: 


BE HONEST
    A lot of times, it is hard to be honest with ourselves about our contribution to reaching our goals. We tell ourselves "I can't see how" or, "Why won't my boss...?" "If only my family helped me"...those are real feelings, but truthfully, we are responsible for our own lives, so any goals we aren't reaching are a DIRECT reflection of what we're putting into them now. Before anyone else does, YOU have to believe in you and God's plan. If you don't believe or you're waiting on everyone else, to validate you and God's plan, you will wait FOREVER. Also, stop thinking you're so much smarter than God- sometimes, you won't see every piece of the puzzle, but believe it is going to happen and roll up your sleeves. Have that conversation with yourself and write down what YOU can do to make things happen.

IT WON'T BE COMFORTABLE....IF IT WERE, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT
   Sometimes we think we deserve things...I personally don't believe in "deserving" anything. God blesses us with EVERYTHING we need to make things happen, but it is usually coupled with hard work and that's where it usually gets fuzzy for us. He does His job, but it is up to us to do ours. I wanted to finish school and get grades. God blessed me with a situation and funding to make that happen, but initially, I didn't feel like going to class consistently, and I didn't feel like studying...how ridiculous is that? I prayed and He practically put everything on a silver platter for me, but I was too lazy to pick up my fork and eat...

PERSPECTIVE
   Are your goals self -driven? If they are, rethink this. Our job on this earth is to use our talents and gifts to spread love and bless other people; but God loves us so much, he wants us to be happy while we are serving too. If everything you want is about YOU or even doing what OTHER people THINK you should, it won't last. Consult with the BIGGEST boss and ask for guidance on what HE wants you to do, then build from there. 


"The place God calls you to is the place your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." 

-Frederick Buechner

Surviving the Government Shutdown

There is a sigh of relief from the 800,000 workers have been affected by the Federal Government shutdown.  After the bipartisan bill to guarantee retroactive pay for all federal employees was passed, many citizens are now able to stop wringing their hands with worry about paying their bills; however, the storm is not over. While the government is shutdown, here are some tips on surviving until you go back to work:

PLAN WELL

Come up with a plan on how to handle the government shutdown. Everyone’s personal situation is different, so there is no general way to handle an event like this. Create a “worst-case scenario” plan, and a “best-case scenario” plan, incorporating your finances, personal & family life, and upcoming events.  Prioritize what is most important and work your way down. After writing things down, you may find that your situation is not as bad as you thought it was.

PAYING BILLS

Call your bill collectors immediately, and tell them your plan to handle paying your bills. Almost everyone is aware of the shutdown, and knows there may be delays in people paying their monthly bills. This is not to assert that companies will give you a “break” on paying your bills- however, you may have options to post-date payments, or pay bills in increments instead of the full amount on the set date.  If you can pay your bill on a normal schedule, do so. This will avoid the time you will have to take to follow-up or change your payment schedules back after the shutdown, as the same businesses will be swamped with customers who need to do this. Overall, it is better to address any financial issues, rather than to avoid them.  Businesses are usually willing to work with you under these unusual circumstances.

SAVING MONEY

Now is the time to cut back a bit on non-essential things like eating out, or early holiday shopping.  There will be plenty of restaurants and malls open after the government reopens. Resisting the urge to spend on minor items could help you in the long run. You may be able to still pay some of your smaller bills in the event that there is a delay in you getting your retroactive paycheck. Use this time off to clean out your cupboard and make your favorite recipes. You can also do some “fall cleaning” and go through your closet to find items you can revitalize and wear like they’re brand new-but leave the goldfish platforms in the closet!

BEING PRODUCTIVE

You know all of those projects and books you have been meaning to catch up on? Here’s your chance. Finally organizing the linen closet and cleaning out the garage should be at the top of your “To-Do” List. You will probably have TONS of projects waiting for you at work, so use this time off wisely, so that when you do return to work, you will feel accomplished in your personal life. Also if your spouse or family member is still reporting to work, you can do something nice, like starting dinner, or meeting them for lunch one day. Be creative and don’t let the uncertainty get you down. 

LIFE LIST

      I make lists for everything. EVERYTHING. It is the ONLY way to keep me on top of everything I have going on. I have a "To-Do" list for work, business, school, home- everything...and I LOVE highlighting stuff that has been completed on my list...like today- "Blog Post" has been highlighted and checked off lol. But one too many lists can prove overwhelming at some point. That happened to me about a month ago. I WAS OVERWHELMED. All those lists looked like snakes, snapping at me, trying to eat me alive! (super dramatic, I know). I pushed all my lists to the side, and applied something my husband and I had done a year before. We were writing down our family goals, but in order to prioritize what was most important, we listed the most important things in our lives from most important to least. I took that and did it for me. I listed the most important things in my life to the least. As I wrote this list, I realized that I was being pretty efficient in most areas, but I could stand some improvement in how much time was allocated to everything. For instance, I love God and have a relationship with Him, but He wasn't getting the attention He was supposed to get, if I claimed He was at the top of the list. Yes, I pray daily, and I read devotions, but when was the last time I just sang to Him? Or just talked out loud to Him on my car ride home? That is the relationship we have had, and I was not fully nourishing it. 

      Never one to sit back and not be proactive, I finished my list and decided to implement another system I read about from (https://www.facebook.com/groups/HEI.iRead/).. For 30 days, many of my friends and I read 10 pages of a book everyday for 30 days. This not only exercised our brain cells, it was a commitment and test that if you do something for 30 days, it becomes a habit. So here's what I did- for 30 days, I was going to dedicate all of my free time to one thing on my "list". I always want to be intentional about living my life to the fullest, and constantly growing and sharing that growth with others. I am in month #2 of this and it feels GREAT! I have found that although I am in month #2 with my #2 "thing", it isn't hard to keep my #1 thing active. It reminds me that HE is the core and movement to everything. Plus things that are in the #5 spot (that I haven't gotten to yet) are improving, because I dedicated time to the #1 "thing".

       All in all, especially with this government shutdown, I encourage everyone to take a sheet of paper and write down everything/everyone that is important to them, and rank them in order, which will help you to gain perspective on how to navigate through this crazy thing called life.

         Use it as a reference point to keep you on top of what you SAY is important. If your kids are most important, but you're only slightly engaged in activity with them, check yourself. And don't come up with excuses- even if you don't live with your kids, you can do things to be prepared for when you ARE with them...little Timmy is into Airplanes now? #Turndown for a little when it isn't your weekend, and find some documentaries on airplanes. Reach out to a flight school for a tour....DO SOMETHING! 

      I won't get into what should be #1, #2, etc...on your list, but one hint to my method was God is ALWAYS #1, and I can't be good to ANYONE else if I am not good to me first {Insert plane crash/safety mask theory article here}.Here are some of the things on my list, in no particular order ( I don't want to influence your list, so I purposely mixed it up):

1. Education
2. Singing
3. Husband
4. Finances
5. Friends
6. God (the relationship, not religion)
7. Children
8. Me
9. Constantly learning new things/ reading
10. Job
11. Songwriting
12. Family (beyond my immediate household)
13. Physical fitness
14. Traveling 
15. Entrepreneurial Endeavors
16. Philanthropy/ non-profit work

        When you come up with your list, tag me on Facebook at facebook.com/patricejonesmusic or tag me on Twitter and Instagram at @pjnickols and lemme see! Use #lifelist as a hashtag! 

Being Busy vs. Being Fruitful

       I recently watched a YouTube Video by Joyce Meyer entitled "Discipline, Confidence, and Building a Better You". While the whole presentation was very moving, there was one portion that talked about being "busy" and the need to "hurry". I listened INTENSELY as I am, what some consider, BUSY. Joyce talks about how so many of us are so "busy", but we aren't necessarily fruitful. It touched me as I often battle with making sure I am "on my grind", but having direction and focus and consulting with HIM about what we (him and I) are "so busy" doing. I don't believe we were meant to mull around the earth with idle hands, but I do believe we are to stop and have the chance to admire the little things...I'm on my road to admiring the little stuff while "on my grind"...

Life is AMAZING...the more I learn, the more I realize the things I DIDN'T know...hope this blesses you like it did me :-) 



Check out the video here: 

Joyce Meyer:  "Discipline, Confidence, and Building a Better You"

(The first 12 minutes talks about the busy/hurried life) 

ON MY RADAR

So I am so excited that I have had the experience to come out of the mounds of work I have piled up, and enjoy some things lately…here are some things on my radar!!!

MUSIC

I don’t need to go into detail about how I feel about music, but I literally have a relationship with music. We fight, we break-up, we don’t speak, then we fall in love again. Right now, we are “courting”…music is flirting with me a little…so here is what I am listening to:

Sevyn Streeter “It Won’t Stop” Single

I absolutely love this song. It is fresh with an old school R&B “bump” feel…that’s what I call that music that makes you bob your head slowly with your eyes closed…I love her voice, and delivery- very subtle, but clean. Her tone is great. There is a Chris Brown remix, and no shade to him, but she didn’t need it. Probably a marketing strategy to get her more notoriety, but not needed…

Goodie Mob Album “Age Against the Machine” Album

I literally bought this yesterday, so I can’t give my full analysis yet, but I am a die-hard fan…so I hope I am not disappointed!

Gladys Knight “Just For You” Album

I am an old R&B lady, but ahhh- well. This is one of my favorite albums. My favorite songs are “Next Time”, “I Don’t Want To Know”, and “Choice of Colors”. Gladys’ delivery is always phenomenal as she sounds like an Auntie, but is still smooth…someone who could show you a few thangs ;-)

Janelle Monae “Electric Lady” Album

FROM TOP TO BOTTOM…#THATISALL

Schoolboy Q “Collard Greens” Single

Hubby put me on him a minute ago and I just can’t stop listening to the hook on this song… I tried to pretend like I didn’t like it, but my shoulders and arms kept bouncing uncontrollably…“Oh-Oh-Oh- luxury….”  

Paramore “Paramore” Album

I guess I was really under a rock, because I found out about this album like two weeks ago, but it has been out since April…just bought it with Goodie Mob so we shall see! I LIKE “Daydreaming” thus far J

FREEBIE!!

I visited a contemporary & vintage clothing store called Zoubeck on King Street in Alexandria, VA. The clothes and accessories are cute and affordable! The owner is also in LOVE with Christ so I that is icing on the cake. Check out www.zoubeck.com  or visit their Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/zoubeckboutique !!!

A Little Too Long....

It has been so long since I have been here, as the last six months have been a whirl-wind. At first I was upset with myself that I haven't written anything in so long, but then I remembered, I have been CRAZY busy! So starting next week, I vow to contribute more to my blog....I am living, listening, and loving!

Crystal Washington- Social Media Guru!

       I have been raving about this lady for a few weeks now. Love her outlook, and her natural hair :-) I watched this video for an assignment, but the video was SO informative. If you are interested in marketing yourself or your business, interested in understanding social media.....or both, check out  http://www.crystalwashington.com/.

 Look at this video:

SPAMMED! How Twitter got me and how Facebook should clean up their act!

   

    One of my friends sent me a DM on Twitter asking if I had seen a picture of myself and ended with "LOL".  I got a little nervous because I had recently performed a song at her Mother's 60th Birthday Party, and I am known to have some pretty crazy facial expressions when I sing. Anyway, when I clicked on the link, Twitter immediately sent me to a page saying that it did not exist. I didn't understand, and right as I was about to call my friend to ask her about the picture, another friend DM'd me saying "Hey Love, change your password you Spammed me!"

    Spam? I was confused. Doesn't that only happen in the Email world? I checked my DM list and saw that about 20 of my followers had sent the same exact message that my friend originally sent me! I also got a ton of messages that I had sent spam (the same message) to other people!!! I immediately changed my password to Twitter.

   That happening to me, made me realize that SPAM is everywhere- not just in a can.  If Twitter can be spammed, then I really would need to monitor my account, to make sure my "tweets" are NEVER compromised!

    Although I had never had this specific issue with Facebook, I feel "spammed" when Facebook allowed users to send invites to parties and requests to play Farm Games.  I have so many requests for events and parties, that I rarely check that feature anymore and put out a disclaimer to my friends that if they wanted to invite me to anything, use another source.  It is overwhelming, and I am hoping that Facebook will come up with a way to fix this issue as I have heard so many of my peers complain about the same thing.  It is the reason that so many people migrated over to Twitter in the first place.  Seems that Facebook's IPO isn't their only problem ;-)

          

GREAT TEACHER'S MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

     I will never forget the moment in the 8^th grade, when my teacher cursed me out. Her name was Mrs. Jersky, and was known as one of the hardest teachers in my middle school. Of course, because of her reputation, many students opted to leave the “s” in her last name out, and although I wouldn't say she was a “jerk”, she was surely nothing to be played with. The day she “cursed me out”, she never used one profane word--- English teachers do not need to use profanity- they can curse you out courtesy of Webster.

     Anyway, she pulled me outside of the classroom, and told me how disappointed she was in me for falling behind on assignments. She told me that I was one of her brightest students and my actions were unacceptable. She didn't even ask me if I wanted to have another chance to make up for not doing my work, she just simply told me I had better turn in every assignment I missed by the next day or it was my Gluteus Maximus...she made me feel like I was the jerk that day...but believe I turned in all of those assignments the VERY next day.

 

As I approach my final semester before graduating, I reflect upon teachers that made a difference in my life. There have been a few that have done NOTHING for my growth as a human being or scholar, there have been some that have been “hard” without a rhyme or reason, and there have been some that do the bare minimum and you can tell they would rather be somewhere else.

    In a time where the education system and teachers are often criticized, many people forget to thank the ones who ARE doing their jobs, doing them well, and actually care about their students. You don't have to teach a student, to have an impact on their lives- just having integrity and being fair is the start; but there are some of you out here that REALLY care about promoting your students to the next level- even if it means being a “Jerk” and kicking some glutes! So to you all, I say “Thank You” now for impacting my life and pushing me to be the best scholar and PERSON I can be...I can only pray that my children have educators like you in the future.

Peace & Blessings,

   Patrice (Jones) Nickols

DEDICATED TO:

Mrs. Wrenn, Mrs. Jersky, Dr. Carter, Dr. Faux, Professor Caldwell, Dr. Conrad, Professor McNeal, Ms. Davis, Mr. Rose, Mrs. Aarons, Mrs. Nobles- Jones, Mr. Summers..and to any teacher I forgot, forgive my head and not my heart!

LOVE IS IN THE AIR...AND ON SOCIAL MEDIA!!! Why you should limit your love life exposure on Social Media....

     Happy Valentine's Day to EVERYONE! Although this day is observed as the day that those who are in-love are to show this to one another, for me, I believe this is a day that love should be shown to EVERYONE- romantic or not...as some of my friends put it, this is “Single Awareness Day” LOL...and to them, I say “I love you!”

          

    I have noticed something a bit disturbing, and this happens on the other 364 days of the year to-- people exposing TOO much about their personal/ love lives on social media. I have seen the romantic overload, where some people's posts on Facebook and Twitter are ALWAYS talking about love (having it or wanting it); I have seen others profiles flooded with sexual content every five minutes, and I have seen those who probably started the name “Single Awareness Day” because their posts are so depressing and TOO forthcoming about their lack of a love life, or how their former flame did them SOOO wrong!

    

    Using Twitter and Facebook to express yourself is definitely one of the perks of utilizing social media; however, too much of something is NEVER a good thing- and that includes your love life. When you expose so much of your life, it gives off a perception- one you may not be aware of in some cases. For those that MUST post a daily picture of themselves kissing their spouse can give off a perception that they're more interested in “trying to show the world” that they're in love, but may not “really be” and that they in turn are “FAKE” [insert MANY celebrity breakup examples here]. For those with the sexual hunger of an animal, no judgments here, but your profile should never read that you cannot go five minutes without talking/thinking about sex---unless you work in another type of industry...that rhymes with “corn”; lastly, those that are dealing with that “Scandal”-esque love (devastating, world changing, painful love) learn to limit how much of that you post...it reads “I am depressed!” and while that may not be true, as my Dad used to tell me, “Sometimes the truth will be other people's perceptions and there's nothing you can do about it”.

 

    I would like to believe many people are well-rounded, and have lives that are made up of many different experiences; make sure your profiles reflect this and try to keep some things about your life private...you never know who is watching!

 

 

HARD CONVERSATIONS

HARD CONVERSATIONS

      It seems that this past weekend, all of the hard conversations I needed to have occured! What's funny is that I was more prepared than I thought I was to have these conversations.  In order to manage my CRAZY life, I have to write everything down...and I do- including notes to remember and talking points for upcoming things :-) Knowing that I was going to have these conversations eventually, I made sure that I applied this, as well as other things, because as I grow, I understand that EFFECTIVE conversations have many elements- not just getting out what YOU want to say.  When you know you are about to have a "hard" conversation, prepared or not, remember these things:


1. WRITE IT DOWN

     Like I said, I write things down. I hate the feeling of forgetting to mention something I REALLY wanted to mention lol! I also use this type of writing as a rough draft. When I write it, it becomes real on paper, and I may realize that it is not such a great point OR it may come off wrong.  For those of you that have trouble communicating, or don't know HOW to say things sometimes {insert me here} , try it and see how it works!


2. STAY CALM

    I am not always the one to stay calm when I communicate- I get excited! But I am learning when I really stay calm (and wooosah) while I speak or while the other person speaks, I am received and respected much more.  Also, staying calm in a heated conversation helps you because in the end if the other person is acting a fool, you will walk away looking like the sane one lol.


3.  LISTEN MORE THAN YOU TALK
   
   I am sure everyone has heard this saying before, and quite frankly, it is soooo hard for me, but it is definitely truth! Whether you're wrong or right in a situation, listening to the other person and staying calm does many things in the long run. First, it helps you to understand the other person's point of view more, which gives you a better chance in solving the problem in the end. It also gives you more of a chance to THINK before speaking!!!!


4. UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EMOTIONS AND FACTS

    When a problem festers, we use our EMOTIONS and FEELINGS to define the TRUTH and FACTS.  When you are dealing with other people, they often do the same. This means when you come into a conversation, you are already coming into it with TWO different perspectives of the TRUTH.  With this said, make sure that you decipher between feelings and truth.  It is ok to "feel", but know the truth of the situation. 

     When expressing how you feel, say "When you did ____, it made me feel _______" ; instead of "You did _______ and that made ______ happen!"  The person that offended you may not have ever intended for the latter to happen, or may not be AWARE.  Know the difference and deal from there!



5.  KNOW THAT SOME CONVERSATIONS WON'T END AS A FAIRYTALE

     At the end of the day, some conversations require a two-part finale. Sometimes, there is no immediately resolve and it takes years! While most of us would love to walk away with an understanding or at least the feeling of being understood, life does not always happen this way.  The way to live well with or without the resolve, is to be confident in how YOU handled the conversation.  You must always live with the notion that if YOU did your best in communicating, let God do the REST!

Supporting Black-owned Businesses

                             

MADAME CJ WALKER

                                                        1867- 1919

Inventor, businesswoman, Philanthropist, and Social Activist

  So in lieu of Black History Month, I figured I would bring up the topic of black-owned businesses and the oh-so common assertion that Black folks, don't support their own. There are many different theories on why this happens, and we have heard from every public African-American figure about the importance of supporting black-owned businesses, yet the mystery remains unsolved.

    As a business marketing student, but also a consumer, I often try to look at business from both standpoints- anyone who has the slightest interest in business SHOULD understand that an important factor in business is first understanding consumer wants and needs. Anyway, what I have found, is that whether you are black, white, or green, consumers want products, but they also want GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE.

    Customer service is not saying “Hi” when a customer enters the establishment, then going back to Tweeting about how much you hate your job; Customer service involves engagement, care, and mind-reading! Yes, I said mind-reading! Whether you are the business owner or salesclerk, a good business trains employees to look at certain things to assess a customer's needs and wants. For instance, when I am walking slow and tell the salesclerk I am just browsing, I want them to greet me, tell me the sales specials, and leave me alone! BUT, when I come in walking fast and flustered the day before my wedding looking for a basket for the flower girl, GIVE ME ANSWERS NOW! (I am still salty about that experience as you can see lol) Overall, just act like you care about what I need, and if you don't have it, help me to get it! That will ALWAYS make a customer come back. Word-of- mouth goes a LONG way also, so make sure what I say about you is GREAT! Take PRIDE in your work- it is your business card when you are not there!

   On the flip-side, I know what it is like to be the one providing the service and some of my folks are NEVER satisfied- almost like they come in looking for a problem. There are some people that you can never satisfy, and you have to let that roll off of your back. For those that scream “Black businesses don't give good customer service!”, look at yourself and how you may be treating the people that work for these businesses. If you can wait two quarters for Beyonce to come out for the Superbowl, you can wait a few extra minutes for a salesperson who is trying their best, but is extremely busy trying to satisfy five other customers at once. Chill lol... And the MONEY ISSUE- quit with the hook-up mentality!!!!! If you can pay hundreds and thousands of dollars to an Asian-owned business, to have a Caucasian-owned shipping company to provide you with a Brazilian girl's hair to sew into your own, you can pay an extra dollar to Supersize!

    I have had GREAT experiences and very poor experiences in black-owned businesses. I have had great and poor experiences in other businesses as well. But I am fair, if the customer service is not “on point”, I speak up to let the establishment know (yea I grew up to be one of those people lol); however, when the customer service is AWESOME, I also speak up, and go as far as sending a letter to the corporate office (yea, I am one of those people too lol). No matter the color of the people running the establishment, I will always acknowledge those who are doing well...but I will admit, as I walk out of the door, I smile a little harder when it is one of my sisters or brothers behind the counter :-)

WHEN BLOGGING GOES RIGHT!

    I have been longing to make more time for my blog, as ideas and thoughts come to me MUCH more often than time allows me to share them...and now I have a major reason! While rounding up my last semester *crosses fingers* at Bowie State University, I am taking a Social Media class that will be a great contribution to my experience and education in marketing. My teacher will look at the posts and grade me on the content and frequency of updates! This also means, that I want YOU (yes, you reading this), to make sure you check me out ---let my teacher know I am doing some things :-)   I am depending on you!

    Next blog post- "Supporting Black-owned businesses"....

PUSH!

     So I believe I have had many times in life that I have had to "push" for something to happen....from being a little girl and realizing the swing needed to be "pushed" to move, to now being an adult and having to "push" to get through situations and still maintain. Over my [short] years :-), I realize that the pushing times eventually brought a smile to my face or a slight giggle. Those smiles and giggles were just a reminder of how bad I felt, the tears I cried, and the frustration I experienced in different moments...and how I thought I would never get through them. But yet and still, I would be present in that moment, battle scars present, but healed.  

      My grandmother told me, "There is nothing you can't get over or through", and I stand firm on that notion. I realize, even when you think you aren't doing anything, each day that you wake up, and work a little to get through any situation, you are literally pushing yourself, inch by inch, away from whatever is behind you. "Behind you" doesn't have to mean a bad relationship, or trouble- it can simply mean pushing yourself closer to your dreams.  But the point of it all is the "pushing" time defines you in the end. 

     Like a mother pushes to bring a child into the world, that temporary pain or sacrifice you make to birth something beautiful, is essentially what life is about...keep pushing...

The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses – behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights. -Muhammad Ali 

NO NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS...JUST "TO-DO" LISTS

     Happy New Year to everyone! I am very excited for this year, but not for the normal reasons. I am excited to continue what I started in 2012...putting in HARD work is very important to me, and 2013 is about the be a year that I reap what I have already sown. Looking at all of the lists I have seen from friends and family, I encourage you to do what you need to do to accomplish all of the goals you have for the year 2013! 

      To keep yourself from becoming overwhelmed, I encourage everyone to turn their goals into "To-Do" Lists! Make your goals realistic by finding a way to implement them in your small everyday tasks. For an example, instead of just saying "I want to save an extra $2,000 this year", make that the goal, but find a way to save about $40 per week. Add this to your budget. This may be the difference between visiting your favorite takeout restaurants and lining up at Starbucks only twice a month instead of every week! 

    I pray that you all stay diligent, disciplined, focused, and inspired to make your life everything that you want it to be! I am a believer that we can achieve EVERYTHING we desire and more...as long as it lines up with God's order and we are willing to work hard and sacrifice SOMETHING for it! Grind now, relax later :-) 


Peace and Blessings,

   Patrice