How playing Solitaire helps me...

The title is crazy right? I mean initially, you're thinking, "What is Patrice talking about?" Seriously, playing Solitaire has been game changer for me recently. Yes I could have jumped on the Candy Crush train, but when I started to look for a game to play when I need to relax my brain, I took it back to the basics. Here's what I took from my old-new found love of the game:

"Out with the old, in with the new" is not always true-- There a millions of games and apps that you can play, but sometimes the older games can be just as exciting. In this fast-paced world, where the "next big thing" looms above our heads daily, sometimes it is nice to go retro and embrace the "old".

You cannot control the hand you're dealt-- no point in dwelling on the hand you have been dealt, because you cannot control it. Play the game and when it doesn't pan out the way you wanted it to, start a new game! 

Stick with your "thing"-- I have little nuances and traditions when I play Solitaire. For the first 6 deck shuffles, I rotate between moving cards on the floor, and in the deck. Sometimes it is tempting to forgo your tradition and "way" of doing things, but stand your ground- even with yourself. If you have found something that has worked for you and makes YOU effective, stick to it no matter what- you will thank yourself later. 

Pay attention-- I cannot tell you how many times I was moving so fast that I missed combinations that could have been made "shuffles" ago. Sometimes we move so fast that we miss the perfect move below. Once you miss that move, it can throw off your entire game. I "punish" myself when I do this- if I miss a move and have to use the "hint" feature, I start a new game. Most times in life, there is no "do-over". Making myself start another game serves as a reminder to stop making this silly mistake and SLOW DOWN. 

You will win some, and lose some-- accept the losses and rejoice in the wins. It is that simple! 

THE POWER OF MUSIC

THE POWER

        Sometimes I forget how powerful music is, considering that most of my life, I have done it as a job. Rarely do I get the experience of just sitting back and being in the audience and “feeling it”.  I have been riding the Metro to work lately and have been listening to music--not to learn it for a gig, or study and practice trills…just to….listen…and it is AMAH-ZING. I created a new playlist called “Inspiration” and by far my favorite songs on the playlist are “No One Else” by Smokie Norful and “Go Alone” by PJ Morton (…yes, Bishop Paul S. Morton’s son).

NO ONE ELSE

       I enjoy Smokie’s song as it gives me motivation to give God glory in all that I do, but Smokie and the live band outdo themselves on the music composition. The lines they play to get to the call and response part blow my mind and I call it, the “ride”. Even though I am walking from the train, I am riding on the music. Listen to the whole song, but REALLY listen to the lines played starting at 5:25….POWERFUL….

LISTEN: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQUwav4WL_c

GO ALONE

     PJ Morton’s whole EP “New Orleans” is great, but the lyrics to"Go Alone" speak volumes to me, as it exposes some of my fears and insecurities in just…being me...and living MY life...the lyrics SPEAK to me….I hope they do the same for you:

I want the world to sing along
But I’m not sure I can afford the costs
Without getting lost
I know that there’s an easy way
But I’m not sure that I’m willing to play
I’m not so good at this game
‘Cause I can’t be…

Going through the motions
As a ship sets on the oceans
Passing you all by
You’re standing on side
A spectator of your old life
Don’t you think it’s time
You take a ride

(Chorus)
Why do you go on
Why do you go on
You should go for what you wanted all along
Why do you go on
Why do you go on
You try to feel it even when it felt so wrong
Instead of just going alone
Why don’t you go alone

ENJOY THE WHOLE SONG:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFecQwUe_oY

                                                           

Top 6 DUMB things that happen to me…often….

I chose six things, because six is my favorite number….

And because that’s all I had…

#6: Shoes being untied

I have always felt that when you reach a certain age (over 18 years old), you look like an idiot being fully dressed, out and about, and you’re squatting down to tie your shoes. I always feel like people are looking at you thinking, “You didn’t tie your shoes the right way when you left the house you ADULT?”  It burns me up when this happens to me because you know what- I DIDN’T tie them right before I left the house…

#5: One spoon left in the dishwater after you have dumped the water out

One question: Am I really going to fill the dishwater pail up again and wash this one spoon?

 I will let you answer for yourself, but technically it WAS soaking the whole time….

#4: Sneezing while driving…and only one piece of tissue

I KEEPS* my McDonald’s napkins! I have a full stash in my glove compartment. But I am convinced that the Government KNOWS that I am going to sneeze two weeks later, so they send FBI agents to come and steal my tissue in the darkness of night, leaving a single piece. Am I the only one that prefers more than one piece of tissue at the scene of a sneeze? I think not.

*To say “keeps” vs. “keep” emphasizes how serious I am…i.e., "I keep it real!" vs, "I keeps it real!” (See what I did there?)

#3: Locking yourself out of your car or house

Doesn’t your body temperature change in that last second as the front door and car door slam shut, and your brain reminds you that your keys are still on the kitchen counter, in your other purse (ladies), or still in the ignition? Do you want to slap yourself even more when this happens to be the day you REALLY needed to reach your destination ON TIME? Blasphemy.

#2: Stubbing that toe

I believe there is an evil spirit out to break my left pinky toe off of my body. To have stubbed my toe so many times in this lifetime, it should really be against the law. To all the kitchen counter corners, coffee table legs, and occasional kid high chairs…I rebuke you!

#1: Dropping your cell phone face down…and the cap of the juice

There’s an octave that I can ONLY reach when this happens. It seems like it is in slow motion, but it happens so fast. And somehow, I manage to get a prayer in, asking God for forgiveness of my sins and reminding him about the fee I will have to pay if my phone is broken, or how I haven’t swept the floor so a piece of hair might get into the cap of the juice.  I love my phone…can’t breathe when it is gone…but I must say, the cap of the juice would be saved first if I could only save one…

Feel free to add your own!

Boss yourself around!

WOULD YOU PROMOTE YOURSELF? 

    I have been struggling in one area of my life and I have been trying to figure out how to work past it. This "area" is directly correlated to long-term goals I have and I know I won't do well in the long-term goals, if I don't accomplish the short-term one first. With that said, something came to me today- I need to treat myself as an employee and boss at the same time. Ask yourself, "Would I pay someone like me to run my business?" Be honest, we all have some areas of improvement! 

    In order to be "promoted" within your company, you have to prove you're worthy by having a strong work ethic and level of commitment...just because you have good intentions or because you're cute, doesn't get you the promotion. Many of us have GREAT intentions, ideas, and COULD actually promote ourselves or company to the next level; but without a strong work ethic and commitment, it will never stick. I want a lot of things in my life, but most of those things deal with having a business-minded attitude. So from now on, I "promote" myself to the next level, by evaluating the level of commitment I provide to my current position.


WANNA GIVE "YOU" A PROMOTION? DO THIS: 


BE HONEST
    A lot of times, it is hard to be honest with ourselves about our contribution to reaching our goals. We tell ourselves "I can't see how" or, "Why won't my boss...?" "If only my family helped me"...those are real feelings, but truthfully, we are responsible for our own lives, so any goals we aren't reaching are a DIRECT reflection of what we're putting into them now. Before anyone else does, YOU have to believe in you and God's plan. If you don't believe or you're waiting on everyone else, to validate you and God's plan, you will wait FOREVER. Also, stop thinking you're so much smarter than God- sometimes, you won't see every piece of the puzzle, but believe it is going to happen and roll up your sleeves. Have that conversation with yourself and write down what YOU can do to make things happen.

IT WON'T BE COMFORTABLE....IF IT WERE, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT
   Sometimes we think we deserve things...I personally don't believe in "deserving" anything. God blesses us with EVERYTHING we need to make things happen, but it is usually coupled with hard work and that's where it usually gets fuzzy for us. He does His job, but it is up to us to do ours. I wanted to finish school and get grades. God blessed me with a situation and funding to make that happen, but initially, I didn't feel like going to class consistently, and I didn't feel like studying...how ridiculous is that? I prayed and He practically put everything on a silver platter for me, but I was too lazy to pick up my fork and eat...

PERSPECTIVE
   Are your goals self -driven? If they are, rethink this. Our job on this earth is to use our talents and gifts to spread love and bless other people; but God loves us so much, he wants us to be happy while we are serving too. If everything you want is about YOU or even doing what OTHER people THINK you should, it won't last. Consult with the BIGGEST boss and ask for guidance on what HE wants you to do, then build from there. 


"The place God calls you to is the place your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." 

-Frederick Buechner

Surviving the Government Shutdown

There is a sigh of relief from the 800,000 workers have been affected by the Federal Government shutdown.  After the bipartisan bill to guarantee retroactive pay for all federal employees was passed, many citizens are now able to stop wringing their hands with worry about paying their bills; however, the storm is not over. While the government is shutdown, here are some tips on surviving until you go back to work:

PLAN WELL

Come up with a plan on how to handle the government shutdown. Everyone’s personal situation is different, so there is no general way to handle an event like this. Create a “worst-case scenario” plan, and a “best-case scenario” plan, incorporating your finances, personal & family life, and upcoming events.  Prioritize what is most important and work your way down. After writing things down, you may find that your situation is not as bad as you thought it was.

PAYING BILLS

Call your bill collectors immediately, and tell them your plan to handle paying your bills. Almost everyone is aware of the shutdown, and knows there may be delays in people paying their monthly bills. This is not to assert that companies will give you a “break” on paying your bills- however, you may have options to post-date payments, or pay bills in increments instead of the full amount on the set date.  If you can pay your bill on a normal schedule, do so. This will avoid the time you will have to take to follow-up or change your payment schedules back after the shutdown, as the same businesses will be swamped with customers who need to do this. Overall, it is better to address any financial issues, rather than to avoid them.  Businesses are usually willing to work with you under these unusual circumstances.

SAVING MONEY

Now is the time to cut back a bit on non-essential things like eating out, or early holiday shopping.  There will be plenty of restaurants and malls open after the government reopens. Resisting the urge to spend on minor items could help you in the long run. You may be able to still pay some of your smaller bills in the event that there is a delay in you getting your retroactive paycheck. Use this time off to clean out your cupboard and make your favorite recipes. You can also do some “fall cleaning” and go through your closet to find items you can revitalize and wear like they’re brand new-but leave the goldfish platforms in the closet!

BEING PRODUCTIVE

You know all of those projects and books you have been meaning to catch up on? Here’s your chance. Finally organizing the linen closet and cleaning out the garage should be at the top of your “To-Do” List. You will probably have TONS of projects waiting for you at work, so use this time off wisely, so that when you do return to work, you will feel accomplished in your personal life. Also if your spouse or family member is still reporting to work, you can do something nice, like starting dinner, or meeting them for lunch one day. Be creative and don’t let the uncertainty get you down. 

LIFE LIST

      I make lists for everything. EVERYTHING. It is the ONLY way to keep me on top of everything I have going on. I have a "To-Do" list for work, business, school, home- everything...and I LOVE highlighting stuff that has been completed on my list...like today- "Blog Post" has been highlighted and checked off lol. But one too many lists can prove overwhelming at some point. That happened to me about a month ago. I WAS OVERWHELMED. All those lists looked like snakes, snapping at me, trying to eat me alive! (super dramatic, I know). I pushed all my lists to the side, and applied something my husband and I had done a year before. We were writing down our family goals, but in order to prioritize what was most important, we listed the most important things in our lives from most important to least. I took that and did it for me. I listed the most important things in my life to the least. As I wrote this list, I realized that I was being pretty efficient in most areas, but I could stand some improvement in how much time was allocated to everything. For instance, I love God and have a relationship with Him, but He wasn't getting the attention He was supposed to get, if I claimed He was at the top of the list. Yes, I pray daily, and I read devotions, but when was the last time I just sang to Him? Or just talked out loud to Him on my car ride home? That is the relationship we have had, and I was not fully nourishing it. 

      Never one to sit back and not be proactive, I finished my list and decided to implement another system I read about from (https://www.facebook.com/groups/HEI.iRead/).. For 30 days, many of my friends and I read 10 pages of a book everyday for 30 days. This not only exercised our brain cells, it was a commitment and test that if you do something for 30 days, it becomes a habit. So here's what I did- for 30 days, I was going to dedicate all of my free time to one thing on my "list". I always want to be intentional about living my life to the fullest, and constantly growing and sharing that growth with others. I am in month #2 of this and it feels GREAT! I have found that although I am in month #2 with my #2 "thing", it isn't hard to keep my #1 thing active. It reminds me that HE is the core and movement to everything. Plus things that are in the #5 spot (that I haven't gotten to yet) are improving, because I dedicated time to the #1 "thing".

       All in all, especially with this government shutdown, I encourage everyone to take a sheet of paper and write down everything/everyone that is important to them, and rank them in order, which will help you to gain perspective on how to navigate through this crazy thing called life.

         Use it as a reference point to keep you on top of what you SAY is important. If your kids are most important, but you're only slightly engaged in activity with them, check yourself. And don't come up with excuses- even if you don't live with your kids, you can do things to be prepared for when you ARE with them...little Timmy is into Airplanes now? #Turndown for a little when it isn't your weekend, and find some documentaries on airplanes. Reach out to a flight school for a tour....DO SOMETHING! 

      I won't get into what should be #1, #2, etc...on your list, but one hint to my method was God is ALWAYS #1, and I can't be good to ANYONE else if I am not good to me first {Insert plane crash/safety mask theory article here}.Here are some of the things on my list, in no particular order ( I don't want to influence your list, so I purposely mixed it up):

1. Education
2. Singing
3. Husband
4. Finances
5. Friends
6. God (the relationship, not religion)
7. Children
8. Me
9. Constantly learning new things/ reading
10. Job
11. Songwriting
12. Family (beyond my immediate household)
13. Physical fitness
14. Traveling 
15. Entrepreneurial Endeavors
16. Philanthropy/ non-profit work

        When you come up with your list, tag me on Facebook at facebook.com/patricejonesmusic or tag me on Twitter and Instagram at @pjnickols and lemme see! Use #lifelist as a hashtag! 

Being Busy vs. Being Fruitful

       I recently watched a YouTube Video by Joyce Meyer entitled "Discipline, Confidence, and Building a Better You". While the whole presentation was very moving, there was one portion that talked about being "busy" and the need to "hurry". I listened INTENSELY as I am, what some consider, BUSY. Joyce talks about how so many of us are so "busy", but we aren't necessarily fruitful. It touched me as I often battle with making sure I am "on my grind", but having direction and focus and consulting with HIM about what we (him and I) are "so busy" doing. I don't believe we were meant to mull around the earth with idle hands, but I do believe we are to stop and have the chance to admire the little things...I'm on my road to admiring the little stuff while "on my grind"...

Life is AMAZING...the more I learn, the more I realize the things I DIDN'T know...hope this blesses you like it did me :-) 



Check out the video here: 

Joyce Meyer:  "Discipline, Confidence, and Building a Better You"

(The first 12 minutes talks about the busy/hurried life)