Top 6 DUMB things that happen to me…often….

I chose six things, because six is my favorite number….

And because that’s all I had…

#6: Shoes being untied

I have always felt that when you reach a certain age (over 18 years old), you look like an idiot being fully dressed, out and about, and you’re squatting down to tie your shoes. I always feel like people are looking at you thinking, “You didn’t tie your shoes the right way when you left the house you ADULT?”  It burns me up when this happens to me because you know what- I DIDN’T tie them right before I left the house…

#5: One spoon left in the dishwater after you have dumped the water out

One question: Am I really going to fill the dishwater pail up again and wash this one spoon?

 I will let you answer for yourself, but technically it WAS soaking the whole time….

#4: Sneezing while driving…and only one piece of tissue

I KEEPS* my McDonald’s napkins! I have a full stash in my glove compartment. But I am convinced that the Government KNOWS that I am going to sneeze two weeks later, so they send FBI agents to come and steal my tissue in the darkness of night, leaving a single piece. Am I the only one that prefers more than one piece of tissue at the scene of a sneeze? I think not.

*To say “keeps” vs. “keep” emphasizes how serious I am…i.e., "I keep it real!" vs, "I keeps it real!” (See what I did there?)

#3: Locking yourself out of your car or house

Doesn’t your body temperature change in that last second as the front door and car door slam shut, and your brain reminds you that your keys are still on the kitchen counter, in your other purse (ladies), or still in the ignition? Do you want to slap yourself even more when this happens to be the day you REALLY needed to reach your destination ON TIME? Blasphemy.

#2: Stubbing that toe

I believe there is an evil spirit out to break my left pinky toe off of my body. To have stubbed my toe so many times in this lifetime, it should really be against the law. To all the kitchen counter corners, coffee table legs, and occasional kid high chairs…I rebuke you!

#1: Dropping your cell phone face down…and the cap of the juice

There’s an octave that I can ONLY reach when this happens. It seems like it is in slow motion, but it happens so fast. And somehow, I manage to get a prayer in, asking God for forgiveness of my sins and reminding him about the fee I will have to pay if my phone is broken, or how I haven’t swept the floor so a piece of hair might get into the cap of the juice.  I love my phone…can’t breathe when it is gone…but I must say, the cap of the juice would be saved first if I could only save one…

Feel free to add your own!